Easter Season

Spring is here! So glad to see the sunshine and that most of the snow has disappeared. We have hit the 50's a few times & I am looking forward to the constant warming temps (hopefully in our near future). The younger two are on Spring Break and though I will be working and we are not going away; Tom has a few things planned for the kids to do. Kyle will be working 45 hours and still has his college courses. Though I know that Kyle's not particularly looking forward to this week, it's only for a week.

Tom completed his 10 radiation treatments about 2 weeks ago. Even though he had a mouth guard to stop the radiation from bouncing around from his fillings, he still ended up with mouth sores. This has again prevented him from eating the meals he so started to enjoy. Along with the mouth sores Tom also has fatigue which is typical with the treatment has really drained him. It is nice to see him up and about when the sun is shining as it has been good for his spirits! Tom was able to be at Plainwell Schools to talk with the high school students about careers in Healthcare last week. I know how much he loved being a Polysomnographic Tech and was glad he could share his experience. Other than having an infusion, Tom does not have anything medical until June. He was able to work it out so that he could be at the U of M the same week that Cody will be in Football camp. I know that they are both looking forward to this week as this will be Cody's last experience at The Big House.

We had a fun night and a successful Cancer Suck Euchre Tournament. Though I was not even close to being a winner I had a great time. We had so many people helping us either with donations OR volunteers to run the different programs that night. I know that Tom was worn out by the end of the evening but he would not sit down much and pushed himself. We are so grateful for what everyone did to help our family...THANK YOU!

This year I did not give up Chocolates or desserts as I have int he past. Instead I have been working on "saying nice things" as I have a post-it on my work computer. It matters how we think, what we say, and how we say it. It's all in the attitude. I am not by nature a positive person so I need to train my head/heart in this way. This is Lent season and I can't think of a better time to start being positive as we have so much to be grateful for. I have been contemplating about sharing this moment for a week now, but feel that I should share it. One night Tom and I were talking about our past, the good times we had and where our family was headed until we heard the life changing words (You have Cancer). We were sharing the "Why do you love me" with each other. I ask him why and he said "Because you stayed with me"

1 Peter 1:3-7 "Now we live in the hope of eternal life because Christ rose again from the dead. And God has reserved for his children the priceless gift of eternal life; it is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And God, in his mighty power will make sure that you get there safely to receive it, because you are trusting in him. It will be ours in that coming last day for all to see. So be truly glad! There is a wonderful joy ahead, even though the going is rough for a while down here. These trial are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure.

You're Choice

Can you say Spring? Not yet! However, we are getting a little warmer each week. Hopefully by the end of this week we will be able to see over the piles of snow at the intersections. We have finally slowed down in the Andrews' household at least in some respects. Cody will have his wrestling banquet this week and that will end his sporting events for his Junior year. Cody & Tom also went on the annual Salem Rabbit Hunt. With the snow so deep they did not kick up anything & it was a challenge to walk though the fields that they hunt. Autumn (a hunting dog) was not able to kick up any either. It was a tough day. Though they were not successful I know that Tom was glad to have this opportunity to spend with Cody. Kyle is getting ready and saving up for his next semester. I can't believe he is finishing up his first year of college. Where has the time gone? He stays busy with working & school these days. Katie just recently had her birthday & while we attended a Grand Rapids Griffins Hockey game, which was so fun, she saw an ad for Skillet. She made the comment "I'd like go see them" I told Tom and a week later we went, what a riot! Katie, her friend Sam & myself had a fun night. This old lady still loves to rock :)

Tom in the meantime spends most of his day trying to ease the pain caused by his cancer. The tumor in this neck is causing him discomfort, but this seems to be the least of this list of issues. He had a needle biopsy that confirmed the cancer around his carotid artery and gland is Medullary Thyroid Cancer, which is reported as a good thing. He is able to do his 10 rounds of radiation here at the U of M Cancer treatment in Grand Rapids. Tom has a face mask along with a mouth guard that is hard for him to wear during the 15 minute treatment. The doctor is also concerned about further damaging his salivary glands. His stomach gurgling has not yet been mastered by the prescriptions he has been put on. However, he is eating better than he has in a year & he has gained 10 pounds since his last visit. Tom will head back to the U of M in June for scans & doctors appointment. At this time we will again discuss whether it would be beneficial for Tom to go onto Chemo.

This weekend we are having our 5th Annual Cancer Sucks Euchre tournament. Typically we use this as a fund raiser for our Relay team. This year our team told us that the money is being raised to help our family with expenses. It is very strange not to be organizing this event and to hand over our stuff to others to put it on. I know that the team will do a wonderful job. I am grateful to our framily (friends like family) who are putting this together. I am excited to be able to participate this year. Watch out players I hold the title of Euchre Queen and hope to be a contender!

Seriously I would like to share that these days have not always been easy. I look back at how our lives have changed and how it affects the kids in what they do & what we do as a family. We spend time watching movies & doing low key events as Tom does not have the energy to go at a fast pace. I worry about how we are all handling this disease emotionally & spiritually. Mostly I wonder about when we look back at these days how we've conducted ourselves. Are we doing what we are meant to? It's kind of like what I have told the kids at different times in their lives. Your brother/sister can upset you & you can't always do something about it, but you can choose how you are going to handle it. I know that I took for granted our family, health, & so much in life...yes I complained about the little things like we all do. Now I look back at the last 6 years and see how I've handled things differently with a changed view. I sometimes miss those carefree days & know that we can't go back to them. It's not that I am complaining about today because I cherish them more than I did when we were healthy. I make the best of each day & choose to be grateful for my family right here & now. I hope that you also decide to be peaceful in the situation you find yourself in....either way it's your choice.

Ephesians 4:23 "Now your attitude and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better."

Winter

Earlier this week Michigan was hit with weather that people are comparing to the storm of '78. It has been brutal in the midwest. Other southern states are getting a taste of mother nature as well. She has not let up in many states and the thing I've been hearing the most no matter where we've been is "I'm so done with winter" Maybe so, but we're still mid season with no sign of Spring!

On Monday I somehow made it to work, even though every rational thought in my mind was to go back home & hybernate until April! I came home early that day & told Tom that this is the worst driving weather in about 20 years. Despite the forecast we still decided to make the trip to AA the following morning. I was supposed to work in the am and we were going to be on the road by noon. Instead we left earlier than planned and hit the frozen tundra by 10 am. It was a scary drive until about Jackson & at one point Tom said "Maybe we should have cancelled" We made it and I was glad that we did not have to leave the hospital as we were able to stay at the Med Inn (a hotel attached to the hospital) until the following day.

Tom had his scans on Tuesday and as always, he was very sick well into the night. The next mornig Tom had his blood draw & then onto the doc's to talk about the results. Tom has gained 5 pounds which is a result of him eating 3 meals a day. They are not full meals that the average person would consume, but he is eating much more than last November when he lost 30 pounds in such a short period. There was discussion about Tom's stomache issues and his loud gurgling. He has been put on a combination of meds and narcotics to see if this will help. Dr. said that it is due to his Calcitonin levels being so high. I'm not sure the number anymore & I didn't ask because I'm not sure I really want to know. His bones again are stable & head scan came back clean. However their is a "bulk" on his right carotid gland & calcification of the liver which may be caused from his previoius radiation last fall. Both of these areas will be presented again in the Tumor Board this coming Tuesasy. It will be determined what is the best overall treatment. For the neck region it will be either surgery or radiation. For the liver it may be that Vandetanib (chemo)will be the best plan. We expect a call on Wednesday with the outcome.

On the drive back home Wednesday the sun was again shinning & the roads were much improved (seeing pavement is always a good thing!) I knew there were many praying over our trip and felt peaceful. It still amazes me that we are over 6 years into this disease & so grateful that Tom is able to handle this fight. Thank you all so much for your support! On Thursday the world turned back to a winter wonderland. I have to admit that in this weather and especially during this time of year I drive differently than I did 3 years ago & it makes me really miss my brother. It's a strange feeling to know that I am at the same age he was when he lost his life, but I have learned to be grateful for his years on this earth.

Lamentations 3:32 "Although God gives him grief, yet he will show compassion too, accordding to the greatness of his lovingkindness. For he does not enjoy afflicting men and causing sorrow."

Friends

Winter sports has been a little challenging for the Andrews' family. Katie's swim season is done. There were so many snow days and then she was sick that she was not able to make up all the meets scheduled. She did not have the greatest record but I am proud that she kept going. Cody hurt his shoulder the first week of practise, but fortunately the doc did not think it was torn. So after 4 weeks of physical therapy he is back at it. He is on the JV team this year & had his first tournament last Saturday. He placed 3rd, which is impressive as 1/2 of the season has passed and this was his firt bout. Kyle finally got his wish and picked out his own little kitty that he is responsible for. We welcomed Echo into our home the week after Christmas, and he has been terrorizing us ever since. He really is a lovable kitten & purrs the minute he is picked up. However, at 5:00 am he loves to play & attacks me when I am doing my workouts. I keep threatening Kyle that Echo will end up in his bedroom if he bites my ankles one more time!

After the holidays Tom's friend took him on a little get away & they had a great time. Many of you have seen Tom's posts on Facebook and the pictures. After flying into Miami and watching the Orange Bowl, a little blue 'stang was rented the these two were like the "Boys of Summer" Yes, he loved Key West and yes he came off the plane tired & complaining about the white stuff on the ground! I've heard a couple of times that he is ready to head back right now. He stated that next year they plan to go again; and this times the wives are invited. Glad to know that he missed me a little :) While they were away I asked Tom a few times how he was doing and got the text "Wonderful" I know he appreciated all Dan did for him & the time they were able to spend together. I also know that Tom did not feel the best while there, but they made the best of their days in the sun & having fun. Tom has always talked about this friend like a brother & I have referred to him as "My other brother Dan" Thanks brother for helping Tom to have some fun memories of 2014.

Upon Tom's return he was scheduled to have his Colonoscopy. Thank you to another friend Alex for taking him & spending your day off caring for my hubby. They did a biopsy on the one polyp they found and it has come back cancer free. The specialist said that things looked clean & that he does not need this done again for another 5 years. They were also checking to see if Tom has Crohn's disease. It appears that this is not causing Tom the sharp pain & gurgling stomach. I guess that we'll have to wait until later this month to talk with his Oncologist about his continued issues. We will be spending a few day in AA as they will be doing his scans (including a head scan). Tom has had a few more episodes where the world goes black and he falls down. Last Sunday morning he laded on his bottom at the very same spot in our room where he blacked out a few months ago. However, he did not go all the way out. This has been a huge concern of mine for the past few months.

Where would we be if we did not have those that we could turn to & count on? At the start of this new year, I am aware again that we have so many friends that are willing to support us. Life is not always easy, but we are the lucky ones to have the opportunity to make these deeper connections. I hope that someday I can be the friend who is able to help another. Isn't this what our lives are to be about?

1 Thessaonians 5:11 "So encourage each other to build each other up, just as you are already doing."

Christmas Season

Winter sports have begun for the two younger children. Tom and/or I are on the road 4 days a week to support our athletes. We love this time of year, but it can also be a little taxing. Kyle is getting ready for the end of semster exams next week & will enjoy his month long break before starting his winter classes. He is really enjoying his classes. He has decided to focus more on Programing & Coding. There is a large demand for this field and I am happy to know that he doesn't HAVE to "Go West Young Man, Go West"!

Tom and I were back in AA at the end of November to talk with the doc and get his CT Scan results. We had a great drive over & a quick visit as it was the day before Thanksgiving & they were on top of the patient visits. Tom had a very low blood pressure reading & the MA took it twice because of the low read. The result was the same both times. It is believed that the drugs are causing his blood pressure to be lowered. Tom was told to eat salt, Fritos, or anything that will help to keep his bloodpressure up. The Cancer in Tom's neck, lungs, and bones were all stable for this scan. His liver had about 4 lessions that have grown 1/2 centimeter in size. This is not alarming, but it is clear that the chemo is not stabelinzing this area. It was also noted that there was a thickening in the lining of his bowels. This could be caused by an infection, which would be the easiest cure. All of these factors could be causing Tom to have memory issues and be a reason for his passing out & vertigo that Tom gets when he first stands up. Tom was given an antibotic to clear the infection. If his stomache issues are not significantly better in 2 weeks he needs to see a GI & see if there is something else going on.

It was determined that Tom would stay off the chemo through the holidays and into January to help him to feel better, get his weight up, and clear up the infection. He was glad to hear that he will be able to enjoy the holidays & be chemo free while he went on a "Bucket List" vacation with his friend. Tom has a head scan to rule out the possiblity of a bleed. He will also have his neck, chest, & abdomin CT sll scheduled on Jan 28 with a meeting with the doc the next day for the results. This will help us to not have to drive back & forth multiple times. It is anticipated that Tom will go onto Vandetanib to see if this will stabilize the liver. Doc said that there is a couple more drugs that are seeking FDA approval and should be available in the next 2 years for his type of cancer. He told Tom that there are many options and that there is a Plan B to go to. He was very positive that thre is so much to offer. I had to wonder if doc was attempting to offset the comment Tom made earlier to the nurse about liver failure being his demise. However, we both left feeling that this was a positive visit.

For the month of December we are going to enjoy our holidays & Tom will even be able to have a holiday drink. I don't mind slowing down a little over the holidays and just connecting with our family & friends. I also want to keep in mind the reason for the season and what that means to me. I hope that you find, peace & His love this season.

Isaiah 44:21-22 "I made you, and I will not forget to help you. I've blotted out your sins; they are gone like the morning mist at noon! Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free."

The time to be Thankful

So much has happened where to start....

Cody's football team ended their regulation games and then made it to the 2nd round of the playoffs for the District champions. It was a great football season and these boys will look back one day and be proud of their accomplishments. On the last game the two schools had a fund raiser for 4 organizations. Tom was chosen as one of the people honored. The school made a banner (Touchdowns for Tom) and there was a moment of silence and a balloon launch. It was a very touching moment. Cody is now onto Wrestling and Katie will have her first swim competition tomorrow... let the sports fun continue!

About a month ago Tom was taken off the chemo drug for two weeks because of his weight loss & nausea. The first weekend he fainted in the middle of the night. I woke to the sound of him hitting our bedroom floor. I ran over to him and got him to the end of the bed. It took about 15 minutes for him to remember what happened. I tried to get him to go to the ER or for me to call an ambulance, but he kept refusing. It was very scary & I wondered for a while if I was doing the right thing by listening to him. We have always made the medical decisions together, so for now I still trusted his decisions. On Monday Tom talked with the U of M nurse who told him to stop taking the drug for another week. Tom has since gained 5 pounds and is now eating 2 meals a day. His meals are not a normal healthy portion, but it's definitely an improvement. Tom will remain off the chemo until Thanksgiving.

Today Tom went to the U of M to have his scans. He drove and his mother accompanied him. These scans have always made him sick. Today he was stating that he had stabbing pains and that it was hard to drive. His mother is a cancer survivor and can relate a lot to Tom's pains and symptoms. She was very worried about him & told me how helpless she felt on the ride home. Tom and I will go back next Wednesday to get the results.

During this month of Thanksgiving and through all of the of our complicated trials I try to keep my mind on all the things that I am thankful for. We both so appreciate the cards & gifts of generosity that have been give to us. I don't know what I would do without so many shoulders to lean on. Our church & Mr. E have so cleverly and kindly supported us. So many people took Tom for his radiation treatments last month that it blew me away. Thank you Dad VD, Mom A, Dale, Chris, & Tod for taking the day and driving across the state. Last week I went to a cancer support group with Tom's sister. As I told my story it was impressed upon my heart that I already have so much support. Although I also appreciated talking with other Caregivers. Through these years I am realizing how lucky our family really is. We have the opportunity to grasp how precious life is & how wonderful people are. What I am trying to say is that I am Thankful for you!

That's Life

Life if funny sometimes & sometimes it's not fun at all. Our U of M experiences has not been the highlight of this season. Tom was called with a quick schedule of his outpatient surgery (giving him 2 days to find a driver)with a simulation follow up the next week. Tom's good friend Chris said that he would be able to take him. I have to mention that early morning is not Tom's best part of the day. Since having the adjustable bed, his facial swelling and tightness in his throat has deminished, but that does not make him jump up and down in the am. Anyway, he was up and out the door by 5:30 Thursday morning to have his surgery. Upon his arrival he finds that they gave him the wrong date, and he is scheduled the following day. Luckily his friend was able to take him over 500 miles (there & back twice) so that he could have the surgery. So two days in a row he was up and out the door before 6 am. After surgery he had to rest on his back for 2 hours as it was cricitcal that his liver not move. Tom was not happy about this and the fact that on Friday was our Parents night to walk our son on the football field. Tom told me that he needed 2 days bed rest (not mentioned in our preplan meeting with the docs). I came home from work Friday to tell Cody that I would be the one walking him, he said "OK mom, I understand". As you all know Tom by now, he would not miss this opportunity for anything. He was standing by his boy, pure white and a little wobbly, but NOTHING was keeping him from this experience. Many of the parents mentioned they were glad to see him. They all got a laugh as I explained that he just had out patient surgery and is supposed to be bed ridden, but I don't believe anyone was surprised to see him.

During the following week Cody came home with the Athletic Trainer & coach who explained that Cody had taken a huge hit and they beleived he had a concussion. Cody felt dizzy and had a headache. A trip to the Doctors confirmed and he missed the next two weeks of football. The same day Tom had an aweful experience with his infusion and the Pharmacy filling his prescription. On Friday I went along with Tom for his doctor visit and Simulation. This time around we were treated as if this was his first radiation visit. The experience took only 1/2 the time once they realized that Tom was there last December. Once we got into the car Tom said "We never saw the doctor" which was the reason that I accompanied him. Oh well, we were both ready to head home!

They told Tom that they needed to create a program before they can start his radiation treatments and that it would take a least a week to get him scheduled. Radiation treatments will start this Tuesday and will be scheduled every Tues/Thurs for 5 treatments. Tom did ok with the breathing tube during the simulation his firefighter training with SCBA helped, but is not looking forward to having to go through it. While waiting to start his treatment he has been romping in the woods looking for that "big buck" to come along.

His strength has been diminishing along with his appetite. I try not to worry about how skinny he's become. I've tried different ideas and they are not working and I feel helpless. For the most part Tom has been content to just hang out at home. When I mention doing things he just doesn't have the will/energy to go like he used to. Katie, my parents & I went to Art Prize and had a beautiful warm day to walk around Grand Rapids and enjoy. Tom would rather hang out at home & watch football or Tigers. It's becoming clear to me that our life is changing once again & those days of being on the go all the time has gone.

I will be honest and say that I've had a hard time adjusting to this slower pace. Sometimes I feel down, but then I remember that I have so much to be thankful for: that Tom is here, that he has a good sense of humor, that he is so involved in his children's lives, that he is a fighter, and that he is still my biggest supporter through all of this. I am so lucky to have him in my life & to have been with him for over 1/2 my time on this earth. We are doing a series a church about Unbinding Your Heart. One of the questions is How is your life different as a Christian? For me it has a definate impact on my life & outlook. When I have this sad feeling I go back to a prayer journal. This is one that I wrote down after my brothers passing. I have a choice of how I will react to life. These are personal words but ones I feel compeled to share:

Father, thank you for helping me to choose you. Where would I be today without you? I don't think I truely want to know. Today you fight for me, carry me, talk & walk with me. Someday I'll bow to you face to face I'll feel your love surround me. Until then my job is to be your solider. May I do well as your servant. Amen.