There is good news in this post. The fact that we successfully handled two parties in one weekend and had great weather for both days. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who showed up to the parties and that many of my family members came two days in a row (some had a long drive). Thanks for sharing this time with us. I also wanted to thank the "Mister E" who sent me a book of my favorite author. I love to read Francine Rivers & "The Scarlet Thread" is a wonderful novel that I cherish. We also were able to attend many Graduation Open Houses. Tom has not felt the best and we tried to spend time with family and friends, all in all, he has been a trouper!
Tom started back on his chemo now called Cometriq (formerly know in clinical as XL-184) on June 1st. He gets a monthly call from the Tech. asking him so questions and then it is sent directly to our home in about 2 days. He is taking the prescription before bed which he claims is helping his energy level and to have a better "day" Nights however can be another story. Within the first 2 weeks he started the symptoms once again. He has mouth sores and sores on his hands, feet and head. He also has nausea, shortness of breath, dizziness, and now fainting spells. His appetite has gone down, and that's not saying much from what it was. This time around he says that food looks and smells good, but when he starts to eat it doesn't settle and he quickly looses his appetite. I am not sure if this is better as he continues to try to eat vs not have any appetite. However, we have Protein drinks and Cheerios on hand for many meals. He has lost 10 pounds in the last month but the pasty white has been at bay.
Now for the bad news: Last night we were out celebrating my parents 50th at Ruth's Chris a very upscale restaurant in Grand Rapids. I knew that earlier in the day Tom was not feeling well but he was determined not to miss it. We arrived, took pictures, toasted my parents, ate a wonderful salad and had the towns best filet. Tom said it was all tasting so good! After we were given coffee and waiting for dessert, Tom told me to take a walk with him. We started down the hall and I asked him what was the matter, he said I needed to help him to the Men's room....he started to wobble and hold onto the wall for support. He was loosing control and I couldn't help him. I told him to sit down in the hallway and staff came up to see what the problem was. All I could think was to get him to ER and trying to remember the list of prescriptions he took. We eventually got him back into our room and though he looked 5 sheets whiter than before, he was telling us all the he was ok and that it was passing. He was totally embarrassed at the thought of what that scene must have appeared. He was exhausted and said he felt like he ran a 5 mile marathon. As we drove away Tom said he was sorry. I told him "If you were falling down drunk you could be sorry, don't you dare be sorry for being having cancer and being sick!" Before he crashed in the car ride home he said. "Well, I have made this night memorable". I got him home and put him to bed then I broke down. I received many phone calls from my concerned family and assured him that he was now resting and was ok. I did not sleep much last night. It was like the days when he first got home from surgery almost 6 years ago that I would wake up and make sure he was still breathing.
One thing I know is that though we try to go on with our everyday life, and try to make it normal....things are not like they were precancer. When we take our family outings/vacation his medical book is going with us. Also I determined last night that I need to carry a sheet of paper with his prescriptions and doctor information so that I have it at hand & don't have to try and recall from memory if I'm again in this type of situation. In talking with many people we haven't seen in a while I have heard once again how strong I am. I do not take this glory it is from the one who holds me up (and believe me when I say that we did a lot of talking last night)! I also want to say that others have shared their trials with me and I will always say "We all have our trials they are just telling a little different story" We are not alone in our situation and always have someone who will listen, love, and lean upon in our time need.
Philippians 4:13 "for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power"
