Winter sports have begun for the two younger children. Tom and/or I are on the road 4 days a week to support our athletes. We love this time of year, but it can also be a little taxing. Kyle is getting ready for the end of semster exams next week & will enjoy his month long break before starting his winter classes. He is really enjoying his classes. He has decided to focus more on Programing & Coding. There is a large demand for this field and I am happy to know that he doesn't HAVE to "Go West Young Man, Go West"!
Tom and I were back in AA at the end of November to talk with the doc and get his CT Scan results. We had a great drive over & a quick visit as it was the day before Thanksgiving & they were on top of the patient visits. Tom had a very low blood pressure reading & the MA took it twice because of the low read. The result was the same both times. It is believed that the drugs are causing his blood pressure to be lowered. Tom was told to eat salt, Fritos, or anything that will help to keep his bloodpressure up. The Cancer in Tom's neck, lungs, and bones were all stable for this scan. His liver had about 4 lessions that have grown 1/2 centimeter in size. This is not alarming, but it is clear that the chemo is not stabelinzing this area. It was also noted that there was a thickening in the lining of his bowels. This could be caused by an infection, which would be the easiest cure. All of these factors could be causing Tom to have memory issues and be a reason for his passing out & vertigo that Tom gets when he first stands up. Tom was given an antibotic to clear the infection. If his stomache issues are not significantly better in 2 weeks he needs to see a GI & see if there is something else going on.
It was determined that Tom would stay off the chemo through the holidays and into January to help him to feel better, get his weight up, and clear up the infection. He was glad to hear that he will be able to enjoy the holidays & be chemo free while he went on a "Bucket List" vacation with his friend. Tom has a head scan to rule out the possiblity of a bleed. He will also have his neck, chest, & abdomin CT sll scheduled on Jan 28 with a meeting with the doc the next day for the results. This will help us to not have to drive back & forth multiple times. It is anticipated that Tom will go onto Vandetanib to see if this will stabilize the liver. Doc said that there is a couple more drugs that are seeking FDA approval and should be available in the next 2 years for his type of cancer. He told Tom that there are many options and that there is a Plan B to go to. He was very positive that thre is so much to offer. I had to wonder if doc was attempting to offset the comment Tom made earlier to the nurse about liver failure being his demise. However, we both left feeling that this was a positive visit.
For the month of December we are going to enjoy our holidays & Tom will even be able to have a holiday drink. I don't mind slowing down a little over the holidays and just connecting with our family & friends. I also want to keep in mind the reason for the season and what that means to me. I hope that you find, peace & His love this season.
Isaiah 44:21-22 "I made you, and I will not forget to help you. I've blotted out your sins; they are gone like the morning mist at noon! Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free."
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
The time to be Thankful
So much has happened where to start....
Cody's football team ended their regulation games and then made it to the 2nd round of the playoffs for the District champions. It was a great football season and these boys will look back one day and be proud of their accomplishments. On the last game the two schools had a fund raiser for 4 organizations. Tom was chosen as one of the people honored. The school made a banner (Touchdowns for Tom) and there was a moment of silence and a balloon launch. It was a very touching moment. Cody is now onto Wrestling and Katie will have her first swim competition tomorrow... let the sports fun continue!
About a month ago Tom was taken off the chemo drug for two weeks because of his weight loss & nausea. The first weekend he fainted in the middle of the night. I woke to the sound of him hitting our bedroom floor. I ran over to him and got him to the end of the bed. It took about 15 minutes for him to remember what happened. I tried to get him to go to the ER or for me to call an ambulance, but he kept refusing. It was very scary & I wondered for a while if I was doing the right thing by listening to him. We have always made the medical decisions together, so for now I still trusted his decisions. On Monday Tom talked with the U of M nurse who told him to stop taking the drug for another week. Tom has since gained 5 pounds and is now eating 2 meals a day. His meals are not a normal healthy portion, but it's definitely an improvement. Tom will remain off the chemo until Thanksgiving.
Today Tom went to the U of M to have his scans. He drove and his mother accompanied him. These scans have always made him sick. Today he was stating that he had stabbing pains and that it was hard to drive. His mother is a cancer survivor and can relate a lot to Tom's pains and symptoms. She was very worried about him & told me how helpless she felt on the ride home. Tom and I will go back next Wednesday to get the results.
During this month of Thanksgiving and through all of the of our complicated trials I try to keep my mind on all the things that I am thankful for. We both so appreciate the cards & gifts of generosity that have been give to us. I don't know what I would do without so many shoulders to lean on. Our church & Mr. E have so cleverly and kindly supported us. So many people took Tom for his radiation treatments last month that it blew me away. Thank you Dad VD, Mom A, Dale, Chris, & Tod for taking the day and driving across the state. Last week I went to a cancer support group with Tom's sister. As I told my story it was impressed upon my heart that I already have so much support. Although I also appreciated talking with other Caregivers. Through these years I am realizing how lucky our family really is. We have the opportunity to grasp how precious life is & how wonderful people are. What I am trying to say is that I am Thankful for you!
Cody's football team ended their regulation games and then made it to the 2nd round of the playoffs for the District champions. It was a great football season and these boys will look back one day and be proud of their accomplishments. On the last game the two schools had a fund raiser for 4 organizations. Tom was chosen as one of the people honored. The school made a banner (Touchdowns for Tom) and there was a moment of silence and a balloon launch. It was a very touching moment. Cody is now onto Wrestling and Katie will have her first swim competition tomorrow... let the sports fun continue!
About a month ago Tom was taken off the chemo drug for two weeks because of his weight loss & nausea. The first weekend he fainted in the middle of the night. I woke to the sound of him hitting our bedroom floor. I ran over to him and got him to the end of the bed. It took about 15 minutes for him to remember what happened. I tried to get him to go to the ER or for me to call an ambulance, but he kept refusing. It was very scary & I wondered for a while if I was doing the right thing by listening to him. We have always made the medical decisions together, so for now I still trusted his decisions. On Monday Tom talked with the U of M nurse who told him to stop taking the drug for another week. Tom has since gained 5 pounds and is now eating 2 meals a day. His meals are not a normal healthy portion, but it's definitely an improvement. Tom will remain off the chemo until Thanksgiving.
Today Tom went to the U of M to have his scans. He drove and his mother accompanied him. These scans have always made him sick. Today he was stating that he had stabbing pains and that it was hard to drive. His mother is a cancer survivor and can relate a lot to Tom's pains and symptoms. She was very worried about him & told me how helpless she felt on the ride home. Tom and I will go back next Wednesday to get the results.
During this month of Thanksgiving and through all of the of our complicated trials I try to keep my mind on all the things that I am thankful for. We both so appreciate the cards & gifts of generosity that have been give to us. I don't know what I would do without so many shoulders to lean on. Our church & Mr. E have so cleverly and kindly supported us. So many people took Tom for his radiation treatments last month that it blew me away. Thank you Dad VD, Mom A, Dale, Chris, & Tod for taking the day and driving across the state. Last week I went to a cancer support group with Tom's sister. As I told my story it was impressed upon my heart that I already have so much support. Although I also appreciated talking with other Caregivers. Through these years I am realizing how lucky our family really is. We have the opportunity to grasp how precious life is & how wonderful people are. What I am trying to say is that I am Thankful for you!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
That's Life
Life if funny sometimes & sometimes it's not fun at all. Our U of M experiences has not been the highlight of this season. Tom was called with a quick schedule of his outpatient surgery (giving him 2 days to find a driver)with a simulation follow up the next week. Tom's good friend Chris said that he would be able to take him. I have to mention that early morning is not Tom's best part of the day. Since having the adjustable bed, his facial swelling and tightness in his throat has deminished, but that does not make him jump up and down in the am. Anyway, he was up and out the door by 5:30 Thursday morning to have his surgery. Upon his arrival he finds that they gave him the wrong date, and he is scheduled the following day. Luckily his friend was able to take him over 500 miles (there & back twice) so that he could have the surgery. So two days in a row he was up and out the door before 6 am. After surgery he had to rest on his back for 2 hours as it was cricitcal that his liver not move. Tom was not happy about this and the fact that on Friday was our Parents night to walk our son on the football field. Tom told me that he needed 2 days bed rest (not mentioned in our preplan meeting with the docs). I came home from work Friday to tell Cody that I would be the one walking him, he said "OK mom, I understand". As you all know Tom by now, he would not miss this opportunity for anything. He was standing by his boy, pure white and a little wobbly, but NOTHING was keeping him from this experience. Many of the parents mentioned they were glad to see him. They all got a laugh as I explained that he just had out patient surgery and is supposed to be bed ridden, but I don't believe anyone was surprised to see him.
During the following week Cody came home with the Athletic Trainer & coach who explained that Cody had taken a huge hit and they beleived he had a concussion. Cody felt dizzy and had a headache. A trip to the Doctors confirmed and he missed the next two weeks of football. The same day Tom had an aweful experience with his infusion and the Pharmacy filling his prescription. On Friday I went along with Tom for his doctor visit and Simulation. This time around we were treated as if this was his first radiation visit. The experience took only 1/2 the time once they realized that Tom was there last December. Once we got into the car Tom said "We never saw the doctor" which was the reason that I accompanied him. Oh well, we were both ready to head home!
They told Tom that they needed to create a program before they can start his radiation treatments and that it would take a least a week to get him scheduled. Radiation treatments will start this Tuesday and will be scheduled every Tues/Thurs for 5 treatments. Tom did ok with the breathing tube during the simulation his firefighter training with SCBA helped, but is not looking forward to having to go through it. While waiting to start his treatment he has been romping in the woods looking for that "big buck" to come along.
His strength has been diminishing along with his appetite. I try not to worry about how skinny he's become. I've tried different ideas and they are not working and I feel helpless. For the most part Tom has been content to just hang out at home. When I mention doing things he just doesn't have the will/energy to go like he used to. Katie, my parents & I went to Art Prize and had a beautiful warm day to walk around Grand Rapids and enjoy. Tom would rather hang out at home & watch football or Tigers. It's becoming clear to me that our life is changing once again & those days of being on the go all the time has gone.
I will be honest and say that I've had a hard time adjusting to this slower pace. Sometimes I feel down, but then I remember that I have so much to be thankful for: that Tom is here, that he has a good sense of humor, that he is so involved in his children's lives, that he is a fighter, and that he is still my biggest supporter through all of this. I am so lucky to have him in my life & to have been with him for over 1/2 my time on this earth. We are doing a series a church about Unbinding Your Heart. One of the questions is How is your life different as a Christian? For me it has a definate impact on my life & outlook. When I have this sad feeling I go back to a prayer journal. This is one that I wrote down after my brothers passing. I have a choice of how I will react to life. These are personal words but ones I feel compeled to share:
Father, thank you for helping me to choose you. Where would I be today without you? I don't think I truely want to know. Today you fight for me, carry me, talk & walk with me. Someday I'll bow to you face to face I'll feel your love surround me. Until then my job is to be your solider. May I do well as your servant. Amen.
During the following week Cody came home with the Athletic Trainer & coach who explained that Cody had taken a huge hit and they beleived he had a concussion. Cody felt dizzy and had a headache. A trip to the Doctors confirmed and he missed the next two weeks of football. The same day Tom had an aweful experience with his infusion and the Pharmacy filling his prescription. On Friday I went along with Tom for his doctor visit and Simulation. This time around we were treated as if this was his first radiation visit. The experience took only 1/2 the time once they realized that Tom was there last December. Once we got into the car Tom said "We never saw the doctor" which was the reason that I accompanied him. Oh well, we were both ready to head home!
They told Tom that they needed to create a program before they can start his radiation treatments and that it would take a least a week to get him scheduled. Radiation treatments will start this Tuesday and will be scheduled every Tues/Thurs for 5 treatments. Tom did ok with the breathing tube during the simulation his firefighter training with SCBA helped, but is not looking forward to having to go through it. While waiting to start his treatment he has been romping in the woods looking for that "big buck" to come along.
His strength has been diminishing along with his appetite. I try not to worry about how skinny he's become. I've tried different ideas and they are not working and I feel helpless. For the most part Tom has been content to just hang out at home. When I mention doing things he just doesn't have the will/energy to go like he used to. Katie, my parents & I went to Art Prize and had a beautiful warm day to walk around Grand Rapids and enjoy. Tom would rather hang out at home & watch football or Tigers. It's becoming clear to me that our life is changing once again & those days of being on the go all the time has gone.
I will be honest and say that I've had a hard time adjusting to this slower pace. Sometimes I feel down, but then I remember that I have so much to be thankful for: that Tom is here, that he has a good sense of humor, that he is so involved in his children's lives, that he is a fighter, and that he is still my biggest supporter through all of this. I am so lucky to have him in my life & to have been with him for over 1/2 my time on this earth. We are doing a series a church about Unbinding Your Heart. One of the questions is How is your life different as a Christian? For me it has a definate impact on my life & outlook. When I have this sad feeling I go back to a prayer journal. This is one that I wrote down after my brothers passing. I have a choice of how I will react to life. These are personal words but ones I feel compeled to share:
Father, thank you for helping me to choose you. Where would I be today without you? I don't think I truely want to know. Today you fight for me, carry me, talk & walk with me. Someday I'll bow to you face to face I'll feel your love surround me. Until then my job is to be your solider. May I do well as your servant. Amen.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Preplan
In this past week the Wayland Wildcats won, the Michigan Wolverines won and the Detroit Lions won....it was a good football weekend for the Andrews family. The kids are pretty good at getting in the routine this school season. It is a little strange having our eldest in college classes until 10 pm. My how life is changing!
Today Tom and I were on the road before 6 am to head over to Ann Arbor. We met with a team of Radiation Oncologist to discuss the next round. I guess I should back up a minute. We tried to have the U of M in Wyoming MI perform the radiation as it would be a 15 min drive for Tom. However Dr. Forstner stated that his case was a little to complex for their facility to handle, so back to AA we went. As the tumor is in the lower right region of his liver and it is crucial that the correct area is radiated along with the fact that is not immensely clear as to what area to radiate, Tom will have markers inserted in an Outpatient surgery. We hope to have this done next week so that we can proceed with the actual radiation. The following week the radiation will begin. It will be a precise and concentrated and they will use the SBRT treatment again. He will also be injected with the IC-Green die to monitor his liver function. Tom will have a total of 5 treatments and they will be no earlier than a day apart because of the high dose. He will need to use a breathing tube to regulate his breathing during the procedure, this is NOT what Tom is looking forward to. His side effects should be minimal compared to his chemo.
We also took advantage of my day off and met with a funeral specialist @ Kubiak-Cook Funeral Services. Tom and I have wanted to do some pre-planning for years now. I finally made the appointment to do it. Don't read too much into this meeting....but we both walked out thinking that this was a good time to preplan while we are thinking clearly.
Nahum 1:7 "The Lord is good. When trouble comes he is the place to go! And he knows everyone who trust in Him!
Today Tom and I were on the road before 6 am to head over to Ann Arbor. We met with a team of Radiation Oncologist to discuss the next round. I guess I should back up a minute. We tried to have the U of M in Wyoming MI perform the radiation as it would be a 15 min drive for Tom. However Dr. Forstner stated that his case was a little to complex for their facility to handle, so back to AA we went. As the tumor is in the lower right region of his liver and it is crucial that the correct area is radiated along with the fact that is not immensely clear as to what area to radiate, Tom will have markers inserted in an Outpatient surgery. We hope to have this done next week so that we can proceed with the actual radiation. The following week the radiation will begin. It will be a precise and concentrated and they will use the SBRT treatment again. He will also be injected with the IC-Green die to monitor his liver function. Tom will have a total of 5 treatments and they will be no earlier than a day apart because of the high dose. He will need to use a breathing tube to regulate his breathing during the procedure, this is NOT what Tom is looking forward to. His side effects should be minimal compared to his chemo.
We also took advantage of my day off and met with a funeral specialist @ Kubiak-Cook Funeral Services. Tom and I have wanted to do some pre-planning for years now. I finally made the appointment to do it. Don't read too much into this meeting....but we both walked out thinking that this was a good time to preplan while we are thinking clearly.
Nahum 1:7 "The Lord is good. When trouble comes he is the place to go! And he knows everyone who trust in Him!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Radiation Treatment Plan
I think that getting ready for school is more work for the parents than it is the student. Orientation and Registration are done on different nights and for also separately for the different schools. Our eldest started at Ferris State University yesterday also.....let the school fun begin!
Tom had his Infusion today. This typically takes a couple of hours along with meeting with his oncologist here in GR and a blood draw. The nurse practitioner was concerned about Tom's calcium but the other blood work results she did not mention. I guess the plethora of prescriptions he received must be doing the trick. Both doctors at U of M and here in GR are concerned about Tom's 23 pound weight loss. He said "this the most effective weight-loss program I've been on" I keep telling him that nobody want his program :)
Dr. Worden's office called today and said that the Tumor Board recommends Radiation treatment on his liver. They have ordered an MRI of the liver for a closer look at the tumor. Tom should be able to have all of this done here at the U of M Cancer Center in Wyoming and we do not have to make multiple trips to AA. Tom will be going back to see Dr. Forstner who will performed his last radiation treatment.
Thanks for the continued support that our family is given. People continue to be so generous to us. We appreciate the gift cards & the words of encouragement. To be truthful this weekend was hard for me. Reality has reared its ugly head and though I know that we will have these ups and downs, it's hard to watch my husband change from the go get'er to the man who has to push himself to get off the couch. Our life has been put into slow motion since Tom has been back on the Chemo. At church this week it was hard for me not to let my tears fall because I wasn't sure if they would stop. However, I know that I was meant to hear the message and thanked God that I made it to church to hear about GRACE. I resolve to keep on "talking" to Him who has the power & grace to do His will!
Nehemiah 9:17 "But you are a God of forgiveness, always ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and full of love and mercy"
Tom had his Infusion today. This typically takes a couple of hours along with meeting with his oncologist here in GR and a blood draw. The nurse practitioner was concerned about Tom's calcium but the other blood work results she did not mention. I guess the plethora of prescriptions he received must be doing the trick. Both doctors at U of M and here in GR are concerned about Tom's 23 pound weight loss. He said "this the most effective weight-loss program I've been on" I keep telling him that nobody want his program :)
Dr. Worden's office called today and said that the Tumor Board recommends Radiation treatment on his liver. They have ordered an MRI of the liver for a closer look at the tumor. Tom should be able to have all of this done here at the U of M Cancer Center in Wyoming and we do not have to make multiple trips to AA. Tom will be going back to see Dr. Forstner who will performed his last radiation treatment.
Thanks for the continued support that our family is given. People continue to be so generous to us. We appreciate the gift cards & the words of encouragement. To be truthful this weekend was hard for me. Reality has reared its ugly head and though I know that we will have these ups and downs, it's hard to watch my husband change from the go get'er to the man who has to push himself to get off the couch. Our life has been put into slow motion since Tom has been back on the Chemo. At church this week it was hard for me not to let my tears fall because I wasn't sure if they would stop. However, I know that I was meant to hear the message and thanked God that I made it to church to hear about GRACE. I resolve to keep on "talking" to Him who has the power & grace to do His will!
Nehemiah 9:17 "But you are a God of forgiveness, always ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and full of love and mercy"
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
How I Spent My Vacation Day
This is the first time that I have missed a month of updates. There has been so much going on it just too much to write about just one update. I do want to thank those who have been so generous to our family. We had a great vacation in Manistee with the Hursh family, we had a wonderful day on Lake Michigan in "The Evil Woman" The summer has flown by but is now winding down and the kids are all getting ready to start school. Our college bound actually starts this Monday, ready or not.
After 3 months of being on chemo Tom had his first scans and we talked to his doctor today about the results. The lesions in the neck, bones, and lungs all are stable. The liver has some lesions that are stable, some have decreased in size, but their is a lesion that has increased 3 times the size. The doctor went back and doubled checked this to make sure it was not a typo. Dr. Worden would like to present Tom's case before the Tumor Board on Tuesday to talk about the progression. He mentioned that he wanted the Radiation department's input to put together a treatment plan.
Tom's med are getting tweaked again, which may help Tom's fatigue. His Magnesium & Potassium were low and they have told Tom to increase his Thyroid medication which is all due to the effects of his chemo. They also gave him a trial mouthwash to help with the mouth sores. Hopefully this will help in his quality of life.
I will blog again when we get the update on Tuesday. Now it's off to one of Tom's favorite thing in this world, to watch his son play football.
1 Chronicles 23:20 "Be strong and courageous and get to work. Don't be frightened by the size of the task, for the Lord my God is with you; he will not forsake you."
After 3 months of being on chemo Tom had his first scans and we talked to his doctor today about the results. The lesions in the neck, bones, and lungs all are stable. The liver has some lesions that are stable, some have decreased in size, but their is a lesion that has increased 3 times the size. The doctor went back and doubled checked this to make sure it was not a typo. Dr. Worden would like to present Tom's case before the Tumor Board on Tuesday to talk about the progression. He mentioned that he wanted the Radiation department's input to put together a treatment plan.
Tom's med are getting tweaked again, which may help Tom's fatigue. His Magnesium & Potassium were low and they have told Tom to increase his Thyroid medication which is all due to the effects of his chemo. They also gave him a trial mouthwash to help with the mouth sores. Hopefully this will help in his quality of life.
I will blog again when we get the update on Tuesday. Now it's off to one of Tom's favorite thing in this world, to watch his son play football.
1 Chronicles 23:20 "Be strong and courageous and get to work. Don't be frightened by the size of the task, for the Lord my God is with you; he will not forsake you."
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Good new ~Bad news
There is good news in this post. The fact that we successfully handled two parties in one weekend and had great weather for both days. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who showed up to the parties and that many of my family members came two days in a row (some had a long drive). Thanks for sharing this time with us. I also wanted to thank the "Mister E" who sent me a book of my favorite author. I love to read Francine Rivers & "The Scarlet Thread" is a wonderful novel that I cherish. We also were able to attend many Graduation Open Houses. Tom has not felt the best and we tried to spend time with family and friends, all in all, he has been a trouper!
Tom started back on his chemo now called Cometriq (formerly know in clinical as XL-184) on June 1st. He gets a monthly call from the Tech. asking him so questions and then it is sent directly to our home in about 2 days. He is taking the prescription before bed which he claims is helping his energy level and to have a better "day" Nights however can be another story. Within the first 2 weeks he started the symptoms once again. He has mouth sores and sores on his hands, feet and head. He also has nausea, shortness of breath, dizziness, and now fainting spells. His appetite has gone down, and that's not saying much from what it was. This time around he says that food looks and smells good, but when he starts to eat it doesn't settle and he quickly looses his appetite. I am not sure if this is better as he continues to try to eat vs not have any appetite. However, we have Protein drinks and Cheerios on hand for many meals. He has lost 10 pounds in the last month but the pasty white has been at bay.
Now for the bad news: Last night we were out celebrating my parents 50th at Ruth's Chris a very upscale restaurant in Grand Rapids. I knew that earlier in the day Tom was not feeling well but he was determined not to miss it. We arrived, took pictures, toasted my parents, ate a wonderful salad and had the towns best filet. Tom said it was all tasting so good! After we were given coffee and waiting for dessert, Tom told me to take a walk with him. We started down the hall and I asked him what was the matter, he said I needed to help him to the Men's room....he started to wobble and hold onto the wall for support. He was loosing control and I couldn't help him. I told him to sit down in the hallway and staff came up to see what the problem was. All I could think was to get him to ER and trying to remember the list of prescriptions he took. We eventually got him back into our room and though he looked 5 sheets whiter than before, he was telling us all the he was ok and that it was passing. He was totally embarrassed at the thought of what that scene must have appeared. He was exhausted and said he felt like he ran a 5 mile marathon. As we drove away Tom said he was sorry. I told him "If you were falling down drunk you could be sorry, don't you dare be sorry for being having cancer and being sick!" Before he crashed in the car ride home he said. "Well, I have made this night memorable". I got him home and put him to bed then I broke down. I received many phone calls from my concerned family and assured him that he was now resting and was ok. I did not sleep much last night. It was like the days when he first got home from surgery almost 6 years ago that I would wake up and make sure he was still breathing.
One thing I know is that though we try to go on with our everyday life, and try to make it normal....things are not like they were precancer. When we take our family outings/vacation his medical book is going with us. Also I determined last night that I need to carry a sheet of paper with his prescriptions and doctor information so that I have it at hand & don't have to try and recall from memory if I'm again in this type of situation. In talking with many people we haven't seen in a while I have heard once again how strong I am. I do not take this glory it is from the one who holds me up (and believe me when I say that we did a lot of talking last night)! I also want to say that others have shared their trials with me and I will always say "We all have our trials they are just telling a little different story" We are not alone in our situation and always have someone who will listen, love, and lean upon in our time need.
Philippians 4:13 "for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power"
Tom started back on his chemo now called Cometriq (formerly know in clinical as XL-184) on June 1st. He gets a monthly call from the Tech. asking him so questions and then it is sent directly to our home in about 2 days. He is taking the prescription before bed which he claims is helping his energy level and to have a better "day" Nights however can be another story. Within the first 2 weeks he started the symptoms once again. He has mouth sores and sores on his hands, feet and head. He also has nausea, shortness of breath, dizziness, and now fainting spells. His appetite has gone down, and that's not saying much from what it was. This time around he says that food looks and smells good, but when he starts to eat it doesn't settle and he quickly looses his appetite. I am not sure if this is better as he continues to try to eat vs not have any appetite. However, we have Protein drinks and Cheerios on hand for many meals. He has lost 10 pounds in the last month but the pasty white has been at bay.
Now for the bad news: Last night we were out celebrating my parents 50th at Ruth's Chris a very upscale restaurant in Grand Rapids. I knew that earlier in the day Tom was not feeling well but he was determined not to miss it. We arrived, took pictures, toasted my parents, ate a wonderful salad and had the towns best filet. Tom said it was all tasting so good! After we were given coffee and waiting for dessert, Tom told me to take a walk with him. We started down the hall and I asked him what was the matter, he said I needed to help him to the Men's room....he started to wobble and hold onto the wall for support. He was loosing control and I couldn't help him. I told him to sit down in the hallway and staff came up to see what the problem was. All I could think was to get him to ER and trying to remember the list of prescriptions he took. We eventually got him back into our room and though he looked 5 sheets whiter than before, he was telling us all the he was ok and that it was passing. He was totally embarrassed at the thought of what that scene must have appeared. He was exhausted and said he felt like he ran a 5 mile marathon. As we drove away Tom said he was sorry. I told him "If you were falling down drunk you could be sorry, don't you dare be sorry for being having cancer and being sick!" Before he crashed in the car ride home he said. "Well, I have made this night memorable". I got him home and put him to bed then I broke down. I received many phone calls from my concerned family and assured him that he was now resting and was ok. I did not sleep much last night. It was like the days when he first got home from surgery almost 6 years ago that I would wake up and make sure he was still breathing.
One thing I know is that though we try to go on with our everyday life, and try to make it normal....things are not like they were precancer. When we take our family outings/vacation his medical book is going with us. Also I determined last night that I need to carry a sheet of paper with his prescriptions and doctor information so that I have it at hand & don't have to try and recall from memory if I'm again in this type of situation. In talking with many people we haven't seen in a while I have heard once again how strong I am. I do not take this glory it is from the one who holds me up (and believe me when I say that we did a lot of talking last night)! I also want to say that others have shared their trials with me and I will always say "We all have our trials they are just telling a little different story" We are not alone in our situation and always have someone who will listen, love, and lean upon in our time need.
Philippians 4:13 "for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)